Sunday Angst, Pt. 2

Yeah, I finally unraveled everything after months and months of pushing it to the back corner of my mind. It didn't make a speck of a difference. She wants something meaningful, I hand it to her on a silver fucking platter. Smacks it out of my hand. Alright then, obviously that's not what you wanted. Frustration beyond belief ensues in my mind.

For anyone else, I would say fuck it. But she's special. She always has been. She will never fucking leave my mind, I'm convinced. She's too good of a person.

After the initial unraveling, I thought everything was for naught. Even though I haven't gained anything, I certainly haven't lost anything. But at this point, what is there to lose. I feel like my friendship with her is growing more and more hollow every day because of my unrelenting desire for her. I can't help it. I've had many a chance to move on. Another girl stepped into my life a few months ago, but we've seemingly phased any physical attraction we had for each other rather quickly and are now basically friends.

So what do I do? Wait till another girl comes along and try again in order to fill some seemingly bottomless hole within me? No, fuck that. I'm more than that. I'm not going to accept some "substitute". What I felt is real. I've seen enough horseshit in my lifetime to know these emotions aren't going to just fade.

So what do I do?

/angsty teenage romance issues