Relapse

It seems I'm falling back into my mindset during the summer. Where everything seems boring, everyone is irritating, and I just don't know how to have an outlet to it all. My friends continue to piss me off, we do the same shit everyday and waste money and time on bullshit things that only make us feel good for an hour or so, whether it's food, drugs, or video games, it doesn't matter. I don't care about it. I still can't love the girl I think I love, and I thought I had solved this many weeks, if not months, ago, but it will continue to plague my mind until some shit actually hits the fan. Whether or not that's good, I have no idea.

I just want peace of mind.

At least I'm in a band (if not two bands? possibly?) that I actually give a shit about. That's one thing I do have. I actually am playing music that isn't stupid and only has to do with how "brutal" we are and how many myspace friends we have, and if we have enough money to play at venues we shouldn't be playing at. Run-on sentence much? Yes, but it was necessary to emphasize how petty and stupid the long running problems of that hunk of shit musical project were.

So at least I have somewhat of an outlet with this (these) new music project(s).

But I want results now, and not later. And I'm starting to worry if results to all of this will even turn up...at all.

My patience and sanity are wearing thin. I want a volcano eruption or something to break up this constant daily struggle of monotony.

Something.

Jumbled thoughts, probably don't make much sense now. Might edit this later with a bit more structure to it.